call me a sentimentalist .... and i say this every year, but i love fall. it brings back the excitement of the 1st day of school / monday night football / the weather turning a bit cooler / sweater sales / backpacks filled with pens and notebooks / and most fondly: volleyball. :)
it rained last friday/saturday here in LA. saturday poured like cats and dogs out. seeing falling rain is romance in physical form. it's cold and comforting, drenching and bittersweet, sad and calming all at the same time. it makes you want to be cozy with hot chocolate, soft sweats and someone. on such rare southern californian occassions, i love to play "4 seasons of loneliness" not b/c im lonely (for the most part) but it just fits - like hot tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. hahaha.
i would say my last post was quite sentimental, just because this time of year was quite different from where i am now. i like it now. i dont think i would be myself if i had stayed back there. in anyrate, time to spring foward admist fall (when you're suppose to fall back).
my most recent woes have been feeling very disconnected with the world, rather, my world. last week, myspace was officially filtered out of work-internet usage ... and sadly, gchat AND facebook fell victim to it today. in my craziness that i call school and work = life, i rarely have time to just chat anymore with close friends or continue my networking with old/newer friends on myspace. i was content as using it as my passive aggressive medium for keeping in touch since i never had time outside of work to do keep up with ALL of them. but now with running around for school and a computer virus at home ... i feel so .... cut off.
in my speech class, one student couldnt decided on her topic to make our first speech about, so she made a survey to help her choose between 2 topics. 1 of them was about internet communication. it sparked a small debate in class where my professor stated that she preferred to see the person b/c u miss out on so much. prior to that comment, i was completely for all for the gchat/aim/myspace/facebook/texting/emailing/cell phone calls .... why? because my family - this includes my biological family as well as 'the ohana' (the girls + a several priveleged few) - are so far away. and as of this year, it seems as though everyone just keeps going further away one-by-one. :( it really does make me sad and thankful at the same time. sad, for those who arent here or get to spend time doing random things like laundry or miso salmon/spaghetti nights with. but thankful for those who are still here. :)
as i begin my official 7th year in Los Angeles, California, i have yet to figure it out completely. "you know, that's the funny thing about life ... how it just jumps up and surprises you." - steve martin in 'father of the bride.' yes, the air quality/parking/traffic/hollywood-type snobby egocentric people really get on my nerves. however, i think ive made a fairly descent home for myself with a great network. i must remind myself though, that life is in a constant state of change where it's almost damn near impossible for things to ever stay the same. as i see myself for the next few months, that it's time to branch out. for example, going back to smc - i come into contact with new classmates or starting team-in-training for that century bike ride = new people. amist my crazy schedule, i somehow have to keep my eye on the prize.
(however, i think my norcal friends would love to hear that in the event i dont make it into PT school again, i'd seriously consider a move up north to get my bearings again.)
BUT that's not gonna happen!!! (sorry kids, i miss and love u much :P)
27 September 2007
14 September 2007
All Good Things
this just so happens to be the same title for 2 different artists' songs for the same topic: a lost love.
the first, Nelly Furtado - her song is meloncholy and very reflective with an extremely catchy beat (i think i chalk that up to the acoustic guitar strumming in the background). the song is deep, with lyrics such as, "flames to dust, dust to wind / why do all good things come to an end?" so many layers ... this probably why i love lyrics so much. they're so exquistely worded.
the second is Mandy Moore. as an artist/actress, she's extremely loveable with such an inviting personality. her song provides me this sort of comfort about a certain heart break that continues to fester. her song describes her frustration about being too forgiving toward her ex-love and continues to always thing of him in a good light ... she's stuck on thinking only good things about him. i just came across this song this week, so my final conclusions are yet to come. but it feels great to have a song describe what you've been feeling about it.
my awesome roomie told me the other day, "you know, you don't have to forgive him." i know i dont, but i'd rather forgive ... then i can forget. hah. in any rate, another in sampling mandy moore's album, another song helped me realize that i've been so stuck on this whole situation because i felt so much in such a short period of time that all amounted to .... nothing. i've wanted to be angry, bitter, hateful - but i knew better. i thought it would all pass after a certain amount of time. so i tucked it all away. gosh, it's been such a journey to understand that situation. i've never been content with the idea that there wasn't an explanation as to why things didnt work out. so i am giving it the attention it deserves ... the nothing that it is and the nothing that he is.
as for now, that's such a validating idea! why didnt i think of that before?
and as for these songs ... it's really easy to look back and focus on the good things b/c no one really wants to thing badly of another (at least for me). in any rate, i like where i am now. i recently heard that the most successful people never look back ... especially on mistakes made - they shift forward, only to achieve. so here i go, looking toward the future only :)
the first, Nelly Furtado - her song is meloncholy and very reflective with an extremely catchy beat (i think i chalk that up to the acoustic guitar strumming in the background). the song is deep, with lyrics such as, "flames to dust, dust to wind / why do all good things come to an end?" so many layers ... this probably why i love lyrics so much. they're so exquistely worded.
the second is Mandy Moore. as an artist/actress, she's extremely loveable with such an inviting personality. her song provides me this sort of comfort about a certain heart break that continues to fester. her song describes her frustration about being too forgiving toward her ex-love and continues to always thing of him in a good light ... she's stuck on thinking only good things about him. i just came across this song this week, so my final conclusions are yet to come. but it feels great to have a song describe what you've been feeling about it.
my awesome roomie told me the other day, "you know, you don't have to forgive him." i know i dont, but i'd rather forgive ... then i can forget. hah. in any rate, another in sampling mandy moore's album, another song helped me realize that i've been so stuck on this whole situation because i felt so much in such a short period of time that all amounted to .... nothing. i've wanted to be angry, bitter, hateful - but i knew better. i thought it would all pass after a certain amount of time. so i tucked it all away. gosh, it's been such a journey to understand that situation. i've never been content with the idea that there wasn't an explanation as to why things didnt work out. so i am giving it the attention it deserves ... the nothing that it is and the nothing that he is.
as for now, that's such a validating idea! why didnt i think of that before?
and as for these songs ... it's really easy to look back and focus on the good things b/c no one really wants to thing badly of another (at least for me). in any rate, i like where i am now. i recently heard that the most successful people never look back ... especially on mistakes made - they shift forward, only to achieve. so here i go, looking toward the future only :)
Back to Basics
Top of the mornin' to ya!
Yes, I've been rather busy this past month. It's sad to realize that waking up past 630am is now a luxury on the weekdays. I've started taking classes again and still working a majority of my hours at work - so it doesn't leave me much time for a lot of things. I'm taking public speaking and a human physiology class. If you know me personally, you must be questioning as to why I'm taking public speaking ... yes, im friendly and approachable ... but when it comes to speaking in front of a group of people all focusing their attention on you, it's SCARY! hopefully i can over come that.
In any rate, human physiology ... sounds dry right? well, that's what i studied at ucla for 4 years. it's good to dust off that rust and to think scientifically again. the only thing is ... i can't decide if i like my professor or not. i believe it's mainly her demenor ... i'm not sure if it's arrogance or if im tired of hearing her b.s. stories of what she's accomplished. but i'll give her this: she KNOWS her $%^&! i like the way that she's been approaching all-to-much-covered-topics that remain the basis of our biological knowledge.
i guess the best way to describe this intrigue is to say that i have always loved complex things ... the more difficult something was, the more i wanted to learn and understand. however, characteristically, i would only graze over the basic concepts. to my detriment, this "habit" of mine plagued my college career. it hit me the other day: no, i dont truly know what i thought i did. (then again, i feel like i've run into that thought at least 3 times this past year alone. hah.) i think i finally understand how important a good foundation is ... like in basketball, when all hell breaks loose and ur having a really crappy game, i go back to what i know: defense/rebounding (or even volleyball: passing passing passing!) ... and then work from there. going back to the basics is key. i hope this new revelation inspires me to kick ass and really get my $%^& down so i'll one day be great in P.T. school.
Yes, I've been rather busy this past month. It's sad to realize that waking up past 630am is now a luxury on the weekdays. I've started taking classes again and still working a majority of my hours at work - so it doesn't leave me much time for a lot of things. I'm taking public speaking and a human physiology class. If you know me personally, you must be questioning as to why I'm taking public speaking ... yes, im friendly and approachable ... but when it comes to speaking in front of a group of people all focusing their attention on you, it's SCARY! hopefully i can over come that.
In any rate, human physiology ... sounds dry right? well, that's what i studied at ucla for 4 years. it's good to dust off that rust and to think scientifically again. the only thing is ... i can't decide if i like my professor or not. i believe it's mainly her demenor ... i'm not sure if it's arrogance or if im tired of hearing her b.s. stories of what she's accomplished. but i'll give her this: she KNOWS her $%^&! i like the way that she's been approaching all-to-much-covered-topics that remain the basis of our biological knowledge.
i guess the best way to describe this intrigue is to say that i have always loved complex things ... the more difficult something was, the more i wanted to learn and understand. however, characteristically, i would only graze over the basic concepts. to my detriment, this "habit" of mine plagued my college career. it hit me the other day: no, i dont truly know what i thought i did. (then again, i feel like i've run into that thought at least 3 times this past year alone. hah.) i think i finally understand how important a good foundation is ... like in basketball, when all hell breaks loose and ur having a really crappy game, i go back to what i know: defense/rebounding (or even volleyball: passing passing passing!) ... and then work from there. going back to the basics is key. i hope this new revelation inspires me to kick ass and really get my $%^& down so i'll one day be great in P.T. school.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
